Would You?

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I am afraid that my words are the best part of me. You know my insecurities. You know my fears, my doubts, my darkness that swallows me.  But I don’t think I’ve ever really let you see the woman that seeks release. You’ve never walked the seashore and seen me dance like a little girl. You’ve never seen me sit with a child and read a book using dozens of voices. You’ve never seen me immersed in the world of music while my fingers type furiously of my passions that scare even me. You’ve never watched me in the kitchen, absorbed in the mundane task of preparing a meal that would make you proud of me.  You’ve never watched me turn my face to the sky and catch a snowflake on my tongue. You’ve never held my hand on a roller coaster, watching and feeling the adrenaline overtake my senses. If you had met that woman … correction, this woman … would you still love me?  

 

I don’t remember when I wrote this, but I remember why.  And I know the same question haunts me today.

 

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7 Comments

  1. I read this the other day, but wasn’t able to respond until now. This is beautiful, the way you captured every day life, walks along the beach, and even coaster rides. I would like to think that if he loved you for your insecurities, flaws, doubts and darkness… he would love you even more having experienced the rest.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I imagine it is something many female erotica writers struggle with. We project an image with our words that is not always in harmony with our “real life”. But that is a dichotomy I struggle with internally every day. Thank you for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I agree. I often feel incredibly misunderstood with people thinking that I always write about sex when that’s not what I’m writing about at all… or that I’m “easy” because I am comfortable with my sexuality.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I find that it is easier for me to write about sex than the deeper emotions I feel. But that has also made it easier to be criticized by others (especially women). But I am trying to learn to do me — regardless of how I am perceived.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I understand that completely. I had someone say “just stop writing erotica then”. I’ve also had people compare theirs to mine like it’s a competition or something. Anymore, I just don’t engage much because people can be mean and I don’t need that.

        Liked by 1 person

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